i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
MIDGETS
????
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
