So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
