Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Too much gin, very little bucket
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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