im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
