just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
