No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
