im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
