I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
