the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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