I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
