You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
