Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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