Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize
