before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
