brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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