My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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