I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
