I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
