You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
