He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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