ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
