yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
