my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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