you lied. pity sex is amazing.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
