are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
