We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
