Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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