Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
