I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
