Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
