We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
