We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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