I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
