Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
