i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
