having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
