A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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