For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
