never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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