As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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