Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
