I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
