It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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