come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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