How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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