Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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