I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
