just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
