i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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