Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
