Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
