I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
