I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
