You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
